Anxiety

Anxiety is the worst thing to ever happen to me
because nothing is ever normal and everything is overthought
I cannot make plans without worrying myself to death
because what will I do if I don't like where we eat
and they will watch me eat so I will eat light
because what if they think my eating habits are weird
I cannot have conversations without overthinking
every comment and emotion and facial expression
because my brain cannot tell if they are laughing with me
or if they are laughing at me and
my brain says chances are they are laughing at me
so I panic and just stay quiet
anxiety has taken away my personality and my jovial spirit
and it has made me into a person I despise,
someone I vowed never to become.
anxiety has eaten out my insides and
left me with a hollow shell that my brain
still criticizes because I can never catch a break.
do not sympathize with me or tell me you understand
you do not understand, I can assure you of that
but instead of giving me sympathy
be patient with me because
I am trying really hard to overcome it.
I'm trying really, really hard.