drown

I'm drowning in the dark, cold water

and I'm freaking out but the harder

I fight the farther I sink 

I'm not actually sinking, I'm just standing at the kitchen sink

my mom has been talking to me for 20 minutes I think 

and I can't recall one thing

she's said so far, it's not that I'm not listening 

it's just that admittedly,

I have problems that are more important than what we are eating for dinner

my own thoughts are feasting on my self-esteem 

but nobody knows because I have good grades and I keep my room clean

I keep quiet and I hide it 

I keep it all inside, I throw myself into the lion pit

get bit, try to escape as the blood rushes to my head

it's hard to win a fucking war when I can't get out of bed 

I can't even get dressed

but I guess you're right, "it's all in my head"

it is. that's the problem, I can't solve it

x marks the spot and I'm no pirate

I need more than crumbled paper to make a map of the mess in my brain

picture this: a splattered me, death by train-- 

peaceful. 

30 mg a piece, glass-half-full kind of people 

don't see things the way I do

I think my glasses are smudged because things aren't looking up,

please don't interrupt, use your manners

I'm drowning here. the least you could do is call for help.